Baby's Day Out II

Look who's at the wheel... Dad teaches Tara the basics...


I get it Dad, don't crowd me...



This is easy... Turn up the music Mom...

See, one hand only...

So is this it? Gets a bit boring after a while, doesn't it...

Uh oh, where's everyone gone...

DAD!!!! MOM!!! Where is everyone...!!!

Baby's Day Out

Tara goes out for lunch...

Hmm.... What's on the menu? she thinks ...

...Oh well, maybe I'll just have the spoon!

Er... my daughter ate my thesis?

I've never had a dog. (I did have a baby brother though). And never had my homework eaten either nor have I used that excuse to cover up for homework not done. (Who am I kidding. I loved homework.)

But this time Airtel is going to either cut my broadband Internet connection or bombard me with phone call reminders (at all inappropriate moments) to pay my phone bill.
Aha. But WHERE is my phone bill?
It will have to be done.
I will have to call up an Airtel call centre and tell a disbelieving young operator -
Er... my daughter ate up the bill.

I can see the scene already. Five years of hard work, three hundred pages of my thesis, carefully formatted, saved from the clutches of the aggressive excitable paper eating tyrant, only to realise at the last minute, before going before the Review Committee.... horror of horrors, where was that chapter on the body? The third person on the right at the committee table asks me about the missing pages. I gulp. Smile sheepishly.

Er... my daughter ate up Chapter 5.

Oh well.

Another Name for Tara!

There's something to be said for being half-Bengali (as Tara is).
You NEED to have two distinct names.
One is the 'bhalo naam' - or 'good name' to be used in all official documents, and in society in general. The other is the 'daak naam', or a 'home name', to be used 'unofficially' by family, friends and close people. (Now you understand what they mean when people ask you, "What is your good name, please? Bhalo naam ta ki?")

It is only befitting Bengali tradition that you will be burdened with a rather strange 'home name' that will embarass you till you are red in the face - especially when you turn 30 and god forbid, your name is either 'Baby' or 'Buri'. (We 30-year olds are a little sensitive on such matters.)Potol, Poltu, Bantu, Gogol, Dheblu... I believe the list borders on ludicrous. Those raised in Kolkata can enlighten you further. Or visit JNU and listen to the chatter around canteen tables, catch the names flying around fast and furious. The vegetable you order could well be the 'daak naam' of the person sitting at the next table.

Of course, you could also get lucky. I struck gold and was fortunate to be spared of the indignation of a Potol/ Gogol type name, and blessed with a beautiful 'daak naam', almost a full fledged 'bhalo naam'. If you don't know what it is... it doesn't matter!
Right now, the hunt is on for one for Tara.

The name "Tara" in itself was met with unsure responses. Tara? That's it? Nain-tara, perhaps? Or An-tara? Even Si-tara? But just 'Tara'? Yes. Just Tara. It is a bone of contention as to who came up with the name - S or I - but I think it was me. (I would.) Borne of a visit to the Kali Bari near Malai Mandir with Ma and Baba during my pregnancy, when after the delicious din of the dhak had died down, and the air still smelt of the smoky coal of an evening 'arati', a cry of 'Jai Ma Tara' rented the air. On inquiring after the name, I discovered it had various merits.

To begin with it was both local and global - deeply rooted in Indian culture and mythology (another name of the goddess Kali the receptor of a different kind of shakti - female energy, one of the five 'panchakanyas' who were strong women in mythology - Ahilya, Kunti, Draupadi, Tara, Mandodari, and of course meaning 'star', I have even discovered a deep connection to Buddhism), yet at the same time imbued with a simplicity and international (pronounce-able) appeal. It was also pronounced the same in Hindi and Bengali (and almost English), both the languages that are hers to own and discover at her own time and pace. It was, to us, perfect!

But still a real 'daak naam' eluded us. Jhunjhuni was the musical name used by aunts and uncles in CR park. S found that calling her Tingoo and Dingu amused her. Bui picked new names every day - matar ka dana, gulab ka patta, gol matol... Dada Dadi went with variations of chappu, tappu, chaanu... Hmm. Not working. It seemed that Tara would end up with many names-in-transit! But I still wanted another name for her, that meant something to me (who else do you have complete authority to name whatever you want??) - EVEN if I was going to be the only person calling her that! I waited patiently for some inspiration to come to me...

Some pics

Some pictures from Pallavi mashi, Chhotto dimma, and Mesho Dadu

Learning to Eat

I would have thought that eating was the most natural thing in the world.

Apparently NOT.

Tara is six months old and supposedly ready to 'eat' solids, says the paediatrician. Tara doesn't agree.

Considering she puts EVERYTHING in her mouth (newspaper, toys, sheets, clothes, cushions,the odd insect,her own fingers, other peoples fingers, her own toes...you get my drift) I didn't think she would have a problem putting some real food in her mouth for a change! But no...

Yesterday was the first (pureed) khichdi attempt, which met with DISASTER. There was no way she was going to put that khichdi in her mouth. She tried everything - squirming, making sorry faces, angry faces, deeply hurt sounds, pretended to gag, trying to tumble out of my arms and escape, spitting whatever little went in out... I tried making "yum yum" (very silly) sounds to make it appear appealing in the hope she would copy me. She didn't bite that bait either, and only looked more suspicious. I understand that pureed khichdi is not a gourmet delight, but still, it is just what the doctor ordered!
.
The battle will continue tomorrow. I am aware that there are more struggles ahead - once she actually gets it in her mouth, getting her to figure that she has to swallow, that this stuff is 'FOOD' which will fill her stomach and give her a most wondrous satisfaction (its only kind in the world) will be the next challenge!

I continue to be amazed at how the things we take for granted - walking, talking, languages, even picking up things, holding things, and of course EATING - are all learned. Through Tara's little victories (she is now dangerously mobile, wriggling about on her stomach and crawling a little on the knees) we see all that is normal in a new light. And get excited about re-discovering the world anew with her!

The Three Month Milestone

When Tara turned Three Months we had ourselves a little tea party in the Navjivan Vihar house with fruit cream, pav bhaji, pakoras, and a lovely delicious cake (in the shape of a tiny pink mouse tucked into a white vanilla bed, looking a little like tara herself). Bui brought more gifts (someone tell her to STOP!!)Tara's Papa wore his special STAR T-shirt (also worn after the day of her birth).

Taraville

the proud papa

The First Two Months

Suffice it to say that the first two months were spent in a daze in Vasant Kunj characterised by:
acute sleep deprivation
crying by the little one
wondering if she could see us
Feeding Troubles (in capital letters)
some colic and the discovery of Bonnisan
getting to know one another
singing lullabyes (bhajans from Ma's repertoire)
cross eyed moments when she would try to focus (when Taramoni became Tera-moni, in Baba's words)
regular visits from Dada Dadi and Bua Phupha to shower adoration
Bua's visits almost every morning to keep our spirits up
visits to the paediatrician
vaccinations


and many many visitors who came with love, good wishes, prayers (and cash!) for Tara
as well as LOTS of gifts from family and friends!

Congratulations and Celebrations! - Messages from All Over the World

Thank you to everyone who sent in such lovely

messages for Tara from all over the world!

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Manju & Dipok,Our granddaughter is so sweet! What is her name? Enjoy your time with her. Her parents should be very happy and proud!Keka & Amitabha (kuwait)

Dipokda & Manju,
We are touched to receive the mail. Thanks for the cute pictures.
Manas, Mita , Mom & Milky (kuwait)



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Dear Manjima and Saurabh,
Congratulations . I am so happy. Thanks for sharing the pictures of beautiful Tara. May God bless her.
Love
ismat jahan (holland)

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Lovely.....and congratulations again and thanks for the photos.

Here goes to Manjima and Saurabh for baby Tara

Precious one,
So small,
So sweet

Dancing in
on angel feet

Straight from Heaven's
brightest star
What a miracleyou are!

(from an anonymous untitled piece)

Warmly,
Amrita (Delhi)

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SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!! Can'twait to see her in person. What a beautiful name, too.

Sharmila Chakravarty (Mou) (boston)

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a big hug and congratulations!!! your baby looks so cute. i am so happy for you. i can't believe you are a ma!!

shaeli agarwala (new york)

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Hi Jhinuk,
the pictures are lovely. Thanks for sending them. I hope you and Tara are both doing well. I'm guessing you are home by now, trying to figure out diaper pins, burping and whatnot. With any luck she is going to be a happy easy-going baby who starts sleeping through the night in no time.

Congratulations to you and Saurabh, and kudos to whoever picked out Tara's name :-)

-bini
Binita Bhattacharjee (usa)

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Thanks.
Anjoo & I saw the baby's pics. Even at 3 days, she is sweet and cute.
Let God bless her with all the best in life.

Subhash Bhattacharyya (bhopal)

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Woo-hoo! She's adorable....Congratulations to you both....but I'm afraid your dad already beat you tothe pictures...sent it to Baba who in turn forwarded it to me.....neverunderestimate the power of BCS.Hope you're all doing well. How many days have you got off? Keep us updatedwith photos....Love, Shreya. (usa)

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Jhinuk & SaurabhShe is absolutely beautiful yaar. Congratulations! Excellent job. You guystake care of yourselves.Miti & Apu. (singapore)


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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaoaoaoaaoaoaoaoahh!!!!!
Yay! She is so so so so so so so so so amazing, and peaceful. Fabulous name. fabulous you. Congrats on bringing her into the world. Yahooooooooooooooooo.
Oxoxoxoxo
Cate Buchanan (geneva)


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She is beautiful...Love the name Tara..I got all your details from Anvita & was meaning to call but you know buzy &lazy we all get...I am so happy for you & Saurabh..Take care & lots of love to you all & special love, kisses & hugs to lilTara :)
Shikha Sabharwal (new york)


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She's adorable!!! She looks exactly like Maa :) (my Maa that is, not herMaa). In fact, they could be identical twins.Love,~Roon (stanford)

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Dear Jhinuk,
OH MY GOODNES!!!!!!!!!!!!! she is so beautiful!!!!!!!!!! what a lovely little babay and so fair!!!!! and she looks so much like you too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was just thinking of you and was going to email buri to see if she had heard from you. i am so happy for you!! and you look very happy too!! how are your mum and dad???? please tell them i say hello. they must be so happy, your mum was so worried about you when i was in kuwait! thanks so much for sharing your lovely news with us. i hope diya and tara will be able to meet soon and be friends!
with all our love,

pupu and deep and diya
xxx (london)

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dear jhinuk,
this is the most wonderful news i have got in a long time.
may god bless saurav and u with all the happiness this little angel has brought in your lives , and may god bless with all the stars above onto this beautiful baby who looks no less than a miracle.
take care of yourself
love always.
papli and dev.

(kuwait)

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My dear manjima and tara

Lots of best wishes, love and good health to both of you on women's day. We area ll missing you also and some of us are really excited and would like to meet Tara as soon as you are back home (Navjiwan Vihar.)In the meantime take care of yourself and enjoy your time with Tara.

With lots and lots of love

Juhi (delhi)

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Amazing - she looks exactly like you!! When can I come and see her? Kalyani (delhi)

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Delighted to see photos of your lovely little Tara that Cate sent me. She is a real poppet.

With all my very best wishes,
Denise (australia)

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TARA in da hous

6th February 2006, 3.25 pm.
Tara enters this world.

The message that went out to friends on e-mail:
"Some pics (on day 3) of our beautiful daughter Tara (another name of the Goddess Kali, also meaning star) who came into this world on Feb 6th at 3.25 pm!"

The Night Before, The Morning After

On the night of 5th February 2006, a Sunday, we packed our bags and left for the hospital. They were to induce labour the next morning and Sonia, my doctor, had asked me to check in the night before. It was a quiet enough departure. We had spent the day hanging out at home. Watching some telly. Catching a film, I think. No fanfare.

We drew up at Sitaram Bhartia in silence. The cold January wind had eased and it was a pleasant night. Sitaram Bhartia was unusually quiet, wearing ample parking space and a deserted look. The guard at the entry wanted to know why we were there. We both looked at my nine month belly and back at him. Why indeed!

The reception was empty. When we finally found someone to initiate proceedings, a flurry of activity broke into the room. Another woman in her ninth month was coming to check in and had come with her whole extended family. A funny sight - the two of us with our bags, occupying very little space on one side and The Big Family on the other - mother, mother in law, brothers in laws, sisters, aunts, uncles...!

And so it began... The bureaucracy of birthing. Filling forms, signing papers, making advance payments, hospital gowns, IV drips, doctors-in-resident in Hawai chappals, nurses from Kerala with shy smiles, heart beat monitors that hummed loudly, ticker tapes, glucose ... S barely getting any sleep in the night and me lying prostrate surrounded by gadgets wondering wondering wondering...

To cut a long story short: labour began early in the morning and continued through the day. This is the part I DO remember quite a bit of! Parents from both sides arrived by 8 and visited in instalments and were duly advised to WAIT downstairs and fret about, but out of sight!
S and I laboured away in the Delivery Room. By 2 pm there was no progress even though the contractions were coming FAST and FURIOUS (for those of you who want to know - it hurts. it does.) S and Sonia took the call, and by 3 I was in line for a C-section.

As I was lumped from bed to stretcher to operating table like a bag of potatoes by men in green scrubs, my contractions continued. The anasthetist was Bengali and insisted on polite conversation. The last thing I remember before he put the needle into my spine was him asking me what my PhD thesis was on. I am not sure I replied.

I was awake through the operation, numb only from waist down. It was pretty much like watching from the wings. The team of doctors chatted while they went about their routine - about the weather, the rush, the rising price of onions, the bad traffic, everything in general and nothing in particular. One garrulous fellow guffawed: "Three more C-sections to go today! If only we could put carbon paper between them and just do the one on top!" Hmm.

They let out a sharp cry suddenly - all together. I had a vision of a stream of blood gushing out in a fountain from the cut they had made and flooding the room with the monitors beeping loudly in alarm. In the next heartbeat I heard a deep-throated guttural cry of indignation. A dark face in a surgeon's mask (later identified as our lovely paediatrician Sangita) with smiling eyes and a little black bindi above the eyes appeared in front of my face and held up the baby next to my cheek. A damp scraggly naked baby in a steady wail kicking its legs and giving me side glances, hair in damp disarray, looking seemingly irritated at being disturbed... I could have sworn it was my mother's face looking at me. "Congratulations! Here, meet your beautiful daughter." the masked face said.

Our little rock star daughter had been born!

Waiting to Exhale

The memory is fading so let me bottle it in cyberspace quickly. I was pregnant until almost six months ago, and somehow I just can't recall anymore what it felt like to lumber around with the big belly, to squeeze into the driver's seat, to do pregnancy yoga exercises, to eat eat eat, drink chhonka, sleep through the afternoon, keep books like 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' and Nutan Pandit's notes by the bedside... It was all rather pleasant, and boringly uneventful (except for the occasional scare of the baby being ulta in a breech position).
There was no pain (the occasional backache and some problem in the ninth month turning sides in bed), just a calm anticipation. A contentment. An excitement. Awaiting the arrival of a 'little person', another witness to our lives.

A couple of weeks before the delivery we drove off to Neemrana to catch a little sunlight in the wintertime and laze on louge chairs by the pool chugging beer and lime soda. Gorge on aloo paranthas on the fort's parapets looking at fields below. It was a lovely trip and Gautam needs to post the pictures on this site. As the D-day drew near, the impatience set in. What would it be - a girl or a boy? What would she/he look like? Would we remember all the breathing exercises from lamaz class? The exhaling, the long breathe-in, short puffs out, and the final cry - 'out'. Would it hurt? (Clearly I had NO IDEA.) We could only wait, to find out.